1929 doesn't look so bad

Football is often called a game of inches.

On Saturday, BYU and UCLA were separated by a few miles and then some.

Cougar quarterback Max Hall looked like Joe Namath, picking apart the Bruin secondary with four touchdown scores within the first five minutes of the second quarter.

It didn’t help that Labor Day Wonderboy Kevin Craft and his backfield looked like schoolboys bobbling a wet bar of soap.

3 fumbles lost. One pick. Countless dropped passes.

I guess, if you're Rick Neuheisel, four interceptions are better than four fumbles.

Either way, the UCLA defense was slumbering, perhaps being hung over an improbable victory over Tennessee two weeks prior.

If the defense was slumbering, the offense was in hibernation.

The Bruins sleepwalked to nine rushing yards.

Even Kai Forbath, probably the best player on the team, missed both of his field goal attempts.

For a UCLA team that started the season so upstart, so upbeat, the Bruins crawled back into their Den petrified after being bombed by a persistent, statement-seeking Cougar offense.

At least the Bruins have awakened from hibernation.

I hope.

Meanwhile, the Trojans dismantled the hapless Ohio State Buckeye team, along with its arrogant Big Ten Conference.

Rey Maualuga sums it up the best after he returned an interception for a touchdown: “It looked like I was Marcus Allen, with my Heisman skills and 4.2 speed.”

Marcus Allen was in attendance. Ray Small was too. But he spent most of the night watching the Trojan offense dismantle a less-than-impressive Buckeye defense.

And how bout those Auburn Tigers?

Winning 3-2?

The Dodgers scored five runs.

I guess you can call it a game of inches. After all.