Acting 101

Soccer players should be given Oscars.

They flail in every which way, tumbling yards across the field. Sometimes, they all fall down.

This art was first initiated by the Italians, imported, sadly, to the States, and now perfected by the Chinese.

After a game like that, it’s hard to question why American journalists have bashed on the non-contact sport Europeans call “football.”

This acting business has even pervaded to the NBA.

It’s like a toxin.

Well, I guess, in this sense, Manu Ginobli makes his living.

If only Manu Ginobli played football. The Brian Urlacher kind.

No wonder it’s a technical foul now to flop.

It’s pathetic. It’s time consuming. It’s self-seeking.

It’s un-American.

Now here comes Novak Djokovic, a Serbian tennis player, whose outlandish acts mirror those of these soccer players. And Manu Ginobli.

He’s listed his injuries – a hyperextended hip, hard breathing, stomachache, two rolled ankles, among others.

And this prompted Roddick to say, "He's either quick to call the trainer, or he's the most courageous guy of all time. I think it's up for you guys to decide."

After the entire list of injuries was presented to him, he went on and added to the list, “Bird Flue. Anthrax. SARS. Common cough and cold.”

This did give a huge chip to Djokovic, who used this as an “advantage.”

Djokovic then disposed of Roddick and was interviewed him on a live mic in stadium, on the USA network.

Remember he’s playing on USA soil.

"You know, Andy was saying I have 16 injuries in the last match," he said. "Obviously, I don't -- right?"

And when the crowd started raining boos, he added, "They're already against me because they think I'm faking everything, so it's all right.”

And to attempt to make it up, concluded, “"That's not nice, anyhow, to say in front of the crowd that I have 16 injuries and that I'm faking it.”

See the interview.

So what can you call this European game?

Finesse?

More like bending the rules of sports.

Not to mention etiquette.

Of course, it’s up to the attacked to maintain his composure.

But whatever it takes to win, right?

Good luck, Novak.

Try fazing Federer.